For hundreds of years it has been customary that the woman change her last name to the last name of her husband after their wedding ceremony. No one really questioned why the woman should change her last name to that of her husband’s, and no one considered the options of keeping their maiden names or using a hyphenated last name.
There are pros and cons to the woman changing her last name to that of her husband’s after getting married. If you and your fiancé are planning to have children once you are married, then it might be easier to go ahead and take on your husband’s last name because any children you have while married to your husband will have his last name. Naturally, it would be easier if your entire family had the same last name especially when the time comes for your kids to enter school and you begin interacting with your children’s teachers and other classmates. It might be very confusing if you have a different last name than your children do.
There are some women today who just aren’t comfortable with changing their last name. The reason for this might be because they feel that they would be trying to change who they were, maybe feel anxiety over the thought of losing their identity or at least a part of their identity by changing their last name. Another reason some women don’t want to change their last name is that they are in a high profile career where their name is very established, and they don’t want to cause any confusion by changing their last name. Some women could also view changing their last name as being old fashioned or too traditional, and that is not the type of person they are.
You might be asking then what can be done, or whether there is an easy compromise. The answer is yes. You could hyphenate your last name using your maiden name and your married name separated by a hyphen. Your husband will most likely just leave his last name as it is but there have been cases where the husband takes on the hyphenated last name as well. Another suggestion might be for your husband to take on your last name. Now, let me tell you, this does not happen very often as most men would never consider this, but it is an option.
I would definitely recommend that if you have an issue with changing your last name after getting married, that you and your fiancé discuss this before the wedding. You both need to be in agreement as to how you are going to handle the name change issue.